A day in the ER:
Patient arrives via ambulance, ESI level 2
Pt: Can I get a blanket? And some coffee? Maybe something to eat too, I haven't eaten all day.
RN: You can't eat or drink anything until the Doctor sees you. I'll get you a blanket after I do a few <hundred> things to get you in the process of seeing the Doc.
Pt: What are you damn nurses good for if you can't bring me food?
<Yes, I'm not good for anything, I'm just a ER waitress.>
PT's family member: Blah, blah, blah.....this is such a long wait time, we're tired of waiting, blah blah.
RN: I'm sorry for the wait, but the ER has had an incredible surge in patients at this time. The Doctor will be with you as soon as he can. Can I get you something to drink?
PT's family member: Yes, I want a cup of coffee. Where can I get it?
RN: We have it in a locked room, I can quickly get one for you.
PT's family member: I need a medium cup. I need you to froth the cream before adding the coffee, then...
RN: We have creamer packets, how many do you want and I'll -
PT's family member: IF YOU JUST PUT THE F*****G CREAMER IN THE COFFEE FIRST LIKE I SAID THEN YOU WON'T MAKE A MISTAKE. DO IT LIKE I SAID AND GET ME THE COFFEE!
RN: You can get your coffee in the cafeteria, it's down that hall.
PT: Are you my doctor?
RN: No, I'm your nurse. Woul-
PT: Well, you look like a doctor. You sound like a doctor.
RN: I am your nurse. So Mr. Soandso, would y-
PT: But I think you're a smart girl, I'm going to tell your boss to promote you to doctor.
RN: Thank you, but it doesn't work that way. I'm a nurse. So, I need you to-
PT: If you're smart then you shouldn't stay a nurse - that would be a waste......
Patient in the room ESI level 3:
RN: Hi, I'm your nurse and -
PT: Can I get a warm blanket and something to drink? How long do I have to be here?
Patient in room ESI level 4:
RN: Hi Mr. So and so, I'm -
PT: You're my nurse? Go get me a drink and a blanket.
Patient in room arrives via ambulance:
RN: Let's get you into a gown first, so we can-
PT: Are you a lesbian? Are trying to look at my tits?
<What? no blanket and drink?>
While on the phone trying to transfer a patient back to the resident's facility, a crying woman comes in informing me that my patient pulled everything out and eloped. The facility on the phone is telling me that it is my job to find a ride home for the patient, the charge nurse tells me I have a new chest pain in my room and nothing has been done - I better get in there to meet the protocol times and the security guard asks me to watch my dementia patient because she keeps leaving her room.
I couldn't find my happy place during this shift. It made me regret not going to law school..