Tuesday, January 24, 2012

5 Minutes

This was my first 5 minutes with a patient who was brought in via EMS:

"I want a drink"
"I need a blanket"
"I need someone to take my shoes off"
"Help me take my pants off"
"How old are you?
"How long have you been a nurse?"
"Why are you asking me all these questions?"
"Go get my husband"
"Where's my blanket?"
"Move me up in bed, I'm uncomfortable"
"Yes, I'm allergic to all of those 15 medications"
"I started a new medicine - a pink pill. How should I know what it is..aren't YOU a nurse?"
"Can't I have some crackers before you put all these stickers on my chest."
"I have to go to the bathroom"
"Take off my socks, my feet are swollen"
"Why aren't you doing anything I'm telling you to do?"
"I'm going to have a panic attack."
"I'm having chest pain."
"I want to be a DNR."
"Where are the ambulance drivers?"
"What's your name again?"
"I don't want an IV"
"Do you know what you're doing?"
"Are you my doctor?"
"I want a blanket, a warm one."
"Don't you already have me in the computer?"
"Don't touch that arm, I can't have anything touching there."
"Are you coming back? I need things done."

I wanted to either stab myself in the ear with my pen or duct tape her mouth shut.
Why, O, why did I volunteer to pick up that shift?


  1. Sounds like one of my patients :) Except that I get to tell them "No" to most of that list and send them to group instead.

  2. I wonder if I would like psych nursing (not for that reason though). ;-)
    It's fascinating, but I would totally feel like a fish out of water all over again.

    1. I think you'd probably do better in Psych than you think. Whenever I get the med-surg itch, I think about crossing over to ER because I feel it's the most similar to psych: it's primarily people in crisis, just with more medical issues and guns. And a lot of my patients come from the ER. I think I'd stand a decent chance there if I started brushing up on the medical knowledge.

  3. I don't know Medic.... you might fit right in. You'd want to be sure not to lose your badge when you were on the inside though.... ;-)

  4. LOL! Yes, I did think about that point Kolohe. I've always wondered I have been able to communicate well with my psych patients. Hmmm...food for thought.