This was my first 5 minutes with a patient who was brought in via EMS:
"I want a drink"
"I need a blanket"
"I need someone to take my shoes off"
"Help me take my pants off"
"How old are you?
"How long have you been a nurse?"
"Why are you asking me all these questions?"
"Go get my husband"
"Where's my blanket?"
"Move me up in bed, I'm uncomfortable"
"Yes, I'm allergic to all of those 15 medications"
"I started a new medicine - a pink pill. How should I know what it is..aren't YOU a nurse?"
"Can't I have some crackers before you put all these stickers on my chest."
"I have to go to the bathroom"
"Take off my socks, my feet are swollen"
"Why aren't you doing anything I'm telling you to do?"
"I'm going to have a panic attack."
"I'm having chest pain."
"I want to be a DNR."
"Where are the ambulance drivers?"
"What's your name again?"
"I don't want an IV"
"Do you know what you're doing?"
"Are you my doctor?"
"I want a blanket, a warm one."
"Don't you already have me in the computer?"
"Don't touch that arm, I can't have anything touching there."
"Are you coming back? I need things done."
I wanted to either stab myself in the ear with my pen or duct tape her mouth shut.
Why, O, why did I volunteer to pick up that shift?