Wednesday, May 23, 2012

From the Mouth of Babes...

I was a guest speaker at my kids' elementary school career day. I spoke to children in grades K-5th grade. It was an amusing experience. Some grades seemed to be fascinated by only one subject, asking questions that spurred more questions on only that one subject. The popular questions involved blood and guts, "gross stuff", strokes, and dead people.
My daughter returned from school proudly stating that all of the kids really liked my presentation except one fifth grader said "it sucked". My daughter was upset by this. I comforted her by saying, "Well, not everyone is going to enjoy it, that's okay." It didn't work. So, I said, "He's probably a turd who doesn't like anything." For some reason, she was satisfied with the boy being a turd. Mission accomplished.

Here are some of the endless questions asked by the kids:

"Do you know Jessica?"
"How many dead people have you seen?"
"Is it gross to see all of the blood and guts?"
"What is a stroke?"
"What is a mini stroke?"
"What happens when you have a stroke? Do you die?"
"Have you ever had a kid with a broken jaw? Because that was me."
"What happens when you get sick?"
"What happens when the ER is closed? Where do the people go?"
"Do you know David?"
"Have you ever had someone shot?"
"Did you stick your finger in the bullet hole?"
"What if someone pukes on you?"
"Do you take vacations?"
"What do you do with the dead people?"
"When someone has to go on the ventilator, how do you get his permission?" <this one was from a 4th grader>
"Have you ever seen bones sticking out of big cuts on people?"
"What is the weirdest thing you've seen?"
"I forgot my question, could you call on my again when I remember?"
"Can people leave the ER and then come back the same day?"
"Do you have to touch boogers? I can't deal with boogers."
"Have you ever had a patient named Ann?"
"Do people ever die in the ER?"
"How do you work around all gross people everyday?"
"Do people come in for spider bites?"
"I like bugs. I went to the ER for a spider bite. Do you remember me?"
"My mom works in the ER and she comes home and tells me about all the mean and stupid people. Do you know her?"

It was very enjoyable!

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