Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Say Seizure Pads Again!!!

We have a bunch of new graduate nurses working now. Most of them are males and I think they add a fun, new dynamic to the place. One is incredibly funny in an annoying little brother way. I like him. He's smart, witty, and knows his stuff. I'm actually surprised that he's a new grad - he's just that good. Another one is personable, amusing, and seems to know a lot, I think the rest will come with time. He's got potential.
The other one is ....well, down right annoying. He thinks he knows everything already, talks more than any chatty Cathy I know, and is a STAN. In the fire service, a STAN is someone who always tries to 'one up' anything you happen to be talking about. STAN is an acronym for "Shit That Ain't Nothing". Every profession has a STAN, it's not exclusive to firefighting.

I'm not the only one who finds this incredibly annoying where I work. Sometimes, when I'm in the mood, I'll try to top his story and make stories up just to jack with him. Naturally, he's always got another story to one up my fictitious one. I find it extremely funny in a juvenile way.

Anyway, he was my replacement one shift and I was trying to give him his patient pass on reports. Prior to his arrival, I got an ambulance with about 15 minutes left before shift change. I didn't have any assistance, but was able to get the patient into the computer, perform an assessment, and notify the docs that the patient needed to get C-spine clearance. The patient was in the ER for a seizure and was backboarded. I thought backboard removal was priority in case the patient had another seizure and was injured due to being restrained.

I'm giving report to STAN and he asks if I put seizure pads on the stretcher. Umm, no not yet. After doing everything I just mentioned to him, I saw him and wanted to give report on that patient since I was waiting for a doc to clear the board from the patient. I literally just walked out of the room.

STAN: Oh, well we need to get seizure pads on the stretcher.

Me:  Yes, I know. Did you hear what I just told you? The patient just got here and I didn't have time yet to do that. I want him cleared from the backboard. The doc is aware of it.
I started to tell him about the patient and was interrupted.

STAN: Seizure pads. The patient needs seizure pads.

Me: Uh huh. The patient had a generalized tonic clonic seizure....

STAN: Yeah, he needs seizure pads.

At that point, I felt like screaming at him like Samuel L. Jackson did in PULP FICTION with the boy who kept saying "What?!"
Say "SEIZURE PADS again M***** F*****! I dare you! Say it again!!

For those of you have not seen this movie, it is very graphic in language and situations. ***WARNING*** the video is graphic, but expresses my thoughts at that time. Replace WHAT with Seizure Pads and you get my drift.


  1. Love it. I've never heard it called that before, I'm definitely going to have to use that one. Also, love the PF reference, too much. I wonder if he would have even gotten it then...