Thursday, August 22, 2013

Blue Light Specials

Apparently, I did not receive the notice that my ER was running specials on testicular pain and meth overdoses caused by swallowing multiple baggies of the drug when the police are trying to pull you over.

So, if you have one of the two aforementioned (or both), please stop by my ER - we have a special in the works just for you!

As a Public Service Announcement:

When the police are trying to pull you over, for whatever reason, and you have bags of meth on your person - you have a choice! The fastest and easiest course of action would be to pull over and receive the consequences of your actions. The long term course would be to swallow all of the bags of meth. You then can be transported to the ER where you will experience the lovely experience of a full blown cardiac arrest. After you are saved, you will enjoy all the comforts of the ER personnel placing a tube in every orifice you possess and a trip to the ICU for an undetermined amount of time. If you survive that, ultimately, you will come full circle and the police will embrace you after your lengthy trip.
The choice is yours! Please choose wisely!
Thank you.
This has been a Public Service Announcement.

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