Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Triage Zen

I've been in triage lately and from previous blog posts (if you read them) I normally despise triage.
I have adopted a zen like attitude towards it now which, hopefully, will last a while.

"Do you have any medical problems?"
"I think I have fibromyalgia."
"You think? Has a doctor diagnosed you with that?"
"No, but I read about it on the internet. And a friend of mine has it, so I think I caught it from her."
"You can't "catch it", it's not infectious."
"Well, I think I did."
"Okay".......ooooohhhmmmmmm. Takes a cleansing breath and smile. :-)
"You wrote down that you have ovarian pain? Have you had that before? Have you had ovarian cysts?"
"Then how do you know you have ovarian pain?"
"I looked at a picture on the internet."
"Where is your pain?"
She points to her pain.
"Your ovaries are not way up there."
"Well, mine are.....and that's what the picture showed."
Breathe in, breathe out.
"Could you be pregnant?"
"Absolutely not."
"All right, what type of birth control do you use?"
"I don't use birth control."
"Do you have sex?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Have you had a tubal ligation or a hysterectomy?"
"When was your last menstrual period?"
"I don't know, it's been such a long time."
"Then you could be pregnant."
"But I don't want to be."
Ooooooohmmmm....aren't wishes nice things?
"Do you have any medical problems?"
"Great. Do you take any medications?"
"Yes."  The list was lengthy.
"Why do you take these medications if you have no medical problems?"
"Well, after I had surgery and the cancer, I had a stroke which caused a heart attack......"
"Do you understand that those are medical problems?"
"Well, they really aren't problems."
<No, of course not.>

I think I got through the day with a good attitude and did not want to run like a mad woman swinging a bat at various strangers after my shift.
I believe I'm making progress.....


  1. I bet you just love the allergy questions in triage too! Those are always entertaining...

    1. Yes, especially when they tell me it was an antibiotic, but they don't remember what is was. Oh, and they "almost died from it." I would think it would be important to know the death pill's name. Just sayin'.

  2. You're not a Mad Woman? You believe you're making progress?? If I may quote Mr. Bennet (which I fear I must because I've never had an original thought in my life) "you think that if it gives you comfort." ;-)

    I don't know why I associate you with Elizabeth Bennet, but just so you know, it is not an unflattering association. :-)

    1. It does give me comfort and thanks for the association. :-)