Sunday, August 11, 2013

Golden Showers.....

Nurses in my ER have a 1:4 patient ratio, regardless of acuity. Of course, if someone has a critical patient, other nurses will help out with the less acute patients although this is not always a given. When I'm hit with 2-3 new patients all at the same time, I quickly assess just how sick they are. If all the new patients are pretty much equal in acuity, then I'll start the "to do" list: starting IVs, drawing blood, collecting urine samples, etc.

I let this one patient know that I would need a urine sample in the near future. She said she couldn't give me one at this time. As time passed and her lab results were coming in, the tech said he checked and still nothing. I went into her room and told her the only thing we were waiting on is her urine. I let her know that in the ER, when "things" don't come out, we will "go in" and "get them". This normally motivates people to try to urinate for me.

A little later, she had her sample. I had an ambulance coming into another room and wanted to finish up with this patient because it would be a while before I could return to her.

"I have my pee."

"Awesome! I'll send it to the lab and results shouldn't take too long."

"Okay, that's the last thing you needed from me?" She said as the tech came into the room to tell me the ambulance had arrived and he would send the sample to the lab. He smiled and stated, "Glad we have this - thanks!"

"You guys sure get excited about pee."

I joked and let out a little laugh, "I bet no one has ever been excited about your urine before."

"Well, yeah....my boyfriend. He likes it when I stand over him and pee on him."

All righty then!

2 comments:

  1. In keeping with this obvious case of TMI, let me just say that I am certain that never in any of my fantasies involving women did I ever think, "ohhh....look at that sexy thing over there... I would just LOVE to have that woman pee on me."

    I wonder if there's something wrong with me?

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  2. Nah, I don't think many people fantasize about being a toilet.

    ReplyDelete